I'm kinda psychic

and no I don't have ESPN (for those who don't get it too bad). But I had this dream a few nights ago about how I was in court and I had this tough killer attitude that made the witness I was interrogating cry and the judge to gasp in awe of my skills that I woke up thinking I should totally become a lawyer...but then I remembered I was running late for class and that idea quickly passed. Anyway, to make a long story short I get pulled over by a cop last night in a middle of a desolate residential street saying how I did not signal when turning right, did not come to a full stop, was speeding (wait didn't I stop?...at least not "fully") among other things. Now the irony is that I always thought I would start hyperventilating and hysterically crying the day I get my first ticket like my sister did, especially with all of the holidays coming up when my cash flow is only directed at cash registers of south coast NOT the police department. However, I did not cry or hyperventilate (maybe it was that mind controlling hot yoga I previously went to taking effect) but was PISSED instead! I swear to you people, I was getting quite close to blogging from a jail cell because I felt like jumping for that cop's neck for being cited for bullshit. So in his excellent customer service skills he only cited me for the turn and "forgave" me for the "speeding" and told me that I can appear in court in February if I wish to contest the ticket. And I said "THE HELL I WILL...GOOD NIGHT!" So just like I stated in my FB status, I will go and eat up both that cop (even if he shows up) and his citation with an attitude just like the one from my dream.

By Popular Request

Sorry my posts have been in slow mode, and I know this blog is like methamphetamines for some of you, but Mr. Superficiality is unfortunately living a Hannah Montana lifestyle where he is a hip-city-know-whats-hot-blogger by night and a boring bio student at UCI trying to get his ass into dental school by day. And for some strange reason my day life is taking over even though this quarter was not supposed to be daylight savings. Anyway, I haven't really planned any special topics for tonight, and I wasn't even going to write anything because I technically should be "studying." However, because my newly discovered Central Perk had to have a bunch of hipsters trying to shed some of their musical "talent" on all of us attempting to do "work" on a Friday night I decided I might as well update this.

***

So I had some requests about what to talk about. One being celebrities such as Perez Hilton and another being New Moon movie. First of all, I am not a celebrity blogger and Perez Hilton is not a celebrity anyway. He is more of a celebrity leech, parasite, freeloader, bottom feeder...or any synonymous word you would like to use. He calls his site "Most Hated Site in Hollywood." Newsflash, most hated site is TMZ because that one actually destroyed careers and had Britney's commando shot about 12 hours before Perez did....maybe the time it took him to decide which color of the rainbow to dye his hair next? No, I don't hate this guy, I just don't really find him too relevant and if there is anything that annoys me more is people who think they are something more than they actually are.

Next, New Moon. I'm not going to deny and say that I am not a Twi-fan because I read half the series during finals week a year ago. So I decided to go with a few people to the premiere because I find amusement in seeing a bunch of obsessed prepubescent girls and their mothers shriek and scream as if they are at a Michael Jackson concert (RIP). However, what I found to be too much (yet somehow unsurprising) was a woman reaching climax in her theater seat from seeing the actors shirtless on screen. Unless pushing yourself up against the seat screaming "OH MAH LORDD-AH OOH OOH OOO" means something else I advise no one to sit on the second seat to the right in third row of theater 9 at AMC at the District in Irvine, unless you want a case of herpes. Other than that, the movie is pretty good, but again, I am not a movie critic/blogger either so you won't find any further reviews here.

Ok, the emos have stopped their music so I can now get back to actual work. Until next time!

How to look like a supermodel in 3 easy steps...

1. Deprive yourself of sleep

2. Replace water with caffeine

3. Replace food with cigarettes

Now I know this may seem like asking for too much, but you can't have something for nothing. However, this diet is a foolproof way to make you look like an anorexic 5'10" teenager that makes 7 figures annually from magazine and billboard advertisement. And as a biology student I can tell you that it's also scientifically proven, so this is totally legit :)

Now the best part is that it only takes a weekend to complete the diet if you done properly, because on Monday morning you will find yourself dragging your body across the pavement with a stoned and worn-out facial expression just like that of Karlie Kloss. Then you just might get discovered by an agent (perhaps myself) working for a renowned agency, get photographed to death, and live happily ever after. So there is an inspiration for you...

p.s. for all of you who are worried about your health and who are ready to criticize this novel diet, know that the scientific purpose of sleep has still not be determined, caffeine will lower your risk of developing Parkinson's and diabetes, and cigarettes are your only method to prevent eating that McHeartAttack. After all, no one wants to do an old person, so make it your priority to look good when young.

* the following diet may carry negative effects on your sanity from lack of sleep, self-esteem once you are introduced to the modeling world, and social relations with friends due to jealousy inspired by your newfound hotness.

* Mr. Superficiality, superficialdivo.blogspot.com, or anything related to this trademark is not sponsored by Starbucks, tobacco industry, or any modeling agency.

Realism = Failure

Am I aware that my GPA is not too competitive for dental school? Yes.

Am I aware that I currently owe over 10k in loans and credit card bills? Yes.

Does this mean I failed in life? Never

***

We all have certain experiences that do not seem too appealing. Even more, many of us have ideas that do not sound too realistic. The reason they don't is because others make you think that way. They will laugh at you and say such things as "you dream too much" or "you need to be realistic." However, just know that there is no such thing as realism. Reality is the way YOU make it! I doubted myself on many many occasions because others made me, yet because of the belief I had buried deep within myself, I succeeded. Talk about higher power! So dream big, defy gravity, and say to all those that doubt you and discourage you from following your dreams, ideas, and beliefs -> FUCK YOU! Because you control your own life, not your family, friends, or authoritative figures. People that want you to be realistic are not "helping you" as they try to make you believe, instead they are holding you down at their level as they are afraid to live lives to full potential. Positive energy will always bring positive results! Everyone has something in their lives that scars them by societal standards, whether it be financial debt, emotional distraught, or intellectual inadequacy. However, every person has a potential to be great at something, and sometimes you just have to go against society in order to determine what that is, forget the scars you carry, and look forward to the future.

be inspired...

Superficial vs. Not - Picture Edition

same maneuver, different result.

*I do not condone of any actions depicted in this this picture blog, so any lawsuits carried out against Mr. Superficiality or superficialdivo.blogspot.com for causing fat girls to become coke/cigarette/bulimia addicts will not cause those pounds to evaporate, so save your legal fee $ and buy a gym membership.

Much love,

Mr. Superficiality ;)

in the spotlight

What is the 2009 definition of fame? Fame is such a distorted noun that there is not one single definition of it. You could have your 15 minutes such as Octomom, Jon and Kate Gosselin, Heidi Montag, and many individuals that have come to be associated with the term fame through the means of reality TV, tabloid papers, medical mistakes, or anything that causes your personal value to be worth as much as your duration in the media spotlight. Fame is like a shooting star; you are able to hold onto it for a little while, and then it disappears across the horizon leaving you where you originally stood. Yet many of the individuals (including those listed above) try to hold onto this shooting star hoping that it will lead them to a position of becoming a permanent star (coincidental word choice btw). I don't need to list any individuals, because all you need to do is open US Weekly and their daily attempts to accomplish this impossible task through "shocking" manners will make it all clear to you. Some have actually succeeded in doing so, yet their only reason for success is due to the previous status of respectability they had, but because of ever-changing interest of fans, their status has slowly begun to diminish into the shadows of forgotten celebrities. And as always, no one likes demotions, so you attempt to stay up there even if it means shaving your head, changing your sexual orientation, releasing "personal videos", or creating television shows in which you search for a best friend that will worship you because everyone else has long stopped at doing so.

***

I will never have much respect for these individuals. The people I do have respect for are those that do not use their fame to gain it. These individuals are not concerned with what others think, or with how many google hits they had that day, or if they were on the TMZ homepage. They are concerned with their own personal fulfillment that is usually gained through their careers or interests. Fame is only a byproduct; appreciated and not desperately sought.

***

Take Grace Jones for example. 61 years old, has been out of the spotlight for almost the entire duration of my life (as her last album was about 20 years ago), and when I rediscovered her music I gained such incredible respect for this woman (that many have not heard of) because her vocal talent puts many new age artist to level of musical incompetence. Now, I know this blog has been pointing towards the direction of media fame, but since it is common grounds for both my readers and myself, it is the only reason I decided to use such examples. However, we all have our own definitions of respectable fame. If you aspire to become a photographer, your definition of fame might be attached to Steven Klein. If you are aspire to be a lawyer, it might be Johnnie Cochran. If you aspire to be a doctor it might be Christiaan Barnard. Whoever the celebrity of your aspiration is, his or her fame is the one you should want because they are the ones that usually succeed at gaining a permanent star position. Not those whose picture is starting at you while you wait in a grocery store line.

Art of Being a Ruthless Bitch

Myself: "I need an extension for my online prep program, because it expires today."

Kaplan Lady (annoyed): "Hmmmm...welll...hold on...I need to see if that is possible."

Myself: "Please do and if you could update my attendances while at it would be great because my classes I took at Orange County did not transfer to Westwood."

Kaplan Lady (raises eyebrow): "You transferred?"

Myself: "Yes"

Kaplan Lady (bemused sarcasm): "Why is that?"

Myself: "Because I was not satisfied with the tutor."

Kaplan Lady (determined to prove me wrong): "We are only as good as you make us!"

Myself: "My test score is only as good as your effort."

Kaplan Lady (really annoyed): "Well updating these attendances is quite difficult when you transfer...hold on (5 minute interval while she attempts at an "impossible" task). You know...next time you should not transfer"

Myself: "Next time you should hire more competent tutors"

***

I deal with bitches like these almost daily, and most of the times (not always, as authority is often an impeding factor) I beat them at their own game. So after being asked by a close friend how to be a "bitch" in order to get some annoying guy off her ass I decided to dedicate this blog to her and to all that are lacking in this department. I have been told by many people, both friends, family, and strangers, that I have an attitude problem yet I partly disagree. My attitude has to a great extent been self-taught with the purpose of surviving in this fast-paced world. If it wasn't for my periodic ruthless behavior, I would not have gotten my Kaplan online program extended, had a people's hospital bills discharged and wait-list positions advanced, gotten into half of my upper division classes, or done countless other things that required me to express myself with a manner many people do not find pleasant (and no, I do not curse in arguments and neither should you...ever). So obviously, this image which I have created for the sole purpose of succeeding in my professional endeavors can sometimes interfere with my personal relations and raise suspicions in people to think that I am a stuck up asshole...while in reality I am a softie (I know...I am laughing at the idea as well)

***

For every action in life there is a reaction, including your personality. So I characterize a person as either a power-trip magnum with no emotions, emotionally available but as a result often vulnerable, or if you have done it the right way, in between. Being in between is something that you should strive for, because being on the higher end of the ladder will only cause you to trip and fall down from that height so hard with a divorce and a lawsuit, and no friends to catch you. Being at the bottom of the ladder will only make you to stay there until you realize that everyone else has moved on up and left you behind. Middle ground always saves your sanity.

***

In terms of how to be ruthless...it can't be taught. You have to figure it out for yourself. Most of the time the image you should have in your head is that of what you desire. So whether it be a career, a guy, a girl, or whatever your desire, you will find it that you will go through great lengths, countless fights, and many personal changes in order to obtain it. Once you do, you will realize whether it was worth the effort and whether the trail behind you still has crumbs left on the ground to allow you to return to what you once were. Often you will realize that the birds ate them away.

Image

You know who I admire?

A Japanese Harajuku school girl that is able to cut out a Hello Kitty! fabric, wrap it around her anorexic body, tie it with some leather lace, chop her hair with industrial scissors, hairspray it into a representation of post-Hiroshima, and walk the streets of Tokyo not giving a fuck. Because unlike some American girl of equivalent age and social status who will rebel against her parents until she is gifted with that Coach bag she saw in Teen Vogue or some other crap mainstream magazine only to inspire jealousy among her classmates, the Japanese girl has more value than the conforming blondie.

***

We see people always trying to look like their idols, whether it be Beyonce, Gwen Stefani, Lady GaGa, Lil' Wayne, or whomever it is that inspires them. Yet, all (or many) of these idols have created their own image without reflecting on the rest of society. So instead of being inspired to copy them or copy anyone in general, be inspired to take the initiative and create your own image. There is no recipe about doing this the right way; you just have to find your drive and let it take you wherever it wants.

***

Eventually you will realize that by creating your own unique self image, whether it be that of a Harajuku girl, a hipster living in Williamsburg, a pretentious LA club-goer, a nocturnal raver, or a million different examples, will not only make you into a unique person, but will also raise admiration in others, just as your idols have caused in you.

id-ols and id-iots

Again, I am not sure where I am going with this one because it is 12:30AM and my brain is drained out of power juice to do any deep thinking (as if I ever do). Ok, no I am not a total loser for staying up to write blogs way past midnight like some twilight obsessed tween. I am just cashless to have another Friday night in LA and having to go to bed early on Friday actually makes me feel like total loser. So no alcoholism for me tonight, but reading material for you, as this brother is trying to save up nonexistent money on more important things in life...such as those Jimmy Choo for H&M shoes....

*** I know I am betraying my inner self for spilling this massive secret, but for those who don't know, H&M does these collaborations with labels that most of us wish could afford (or do through help of their best friend called Chase, but are later condemned to financial hell because Chase turned out to be Satan...who would have guessed?). But really I don't see what the hype is all about because this is how idiotic this scenario is (my first id- case). First off, you can be Louis Vuitton for all I care, but if you have "for" following your name, you no longer fit up to the standards. So you can wear Karl Lagerfeld, Roberto Cavalii, Viktor&Rolf, Comme des Garcons, and Jimmy Choo, but it's still H&M bitches and it will never be the real thing. Now the other thing that makes you an idiot for following these collaboration fads is that you A. have to wake up at 5AM, drive all the way up to LA, wait in line with a bunch of asians that flew out from Korea for this event, and fight for a piece of clothing article as if you are a child from Malawi fighting to be the one Madonna adopts. B. you still end up paying ridiculous prices for these items (e.g. Comme des Garcons shirt for H&M was around $70, while you can find an original on sale for probably around $120), yet are still haunted by inexpensive reputation of the store. C. you most likely will not end up getting what you want, and what you do get you most likely will not like (or will be wrong size) when you return to the comfort of your home and euphoria is long gone. D. you can tell others you are wearing so and so (omitting the "for..." obviously) but deep within your wannabe heart there will always be a "for..." Soooo point being...shopping collaborations is plain id-iotic. However, there is one id-olic thing about them...its called ebay. I guarantee you that reselling any collaborations from H&M is a foolproof way to make money. If you don't believe me, just search "Jimmy Choo for H&M" anytime after November 14th and you'll see what I mean....and that is exactly what I will do if I decide to wake up at dawn that Saturday...hence the reason I am taking a night off at home.

Wow I totally went off on a tangent talking about that...but same goes with outlet stores (that sells the "outcast" marked UP clothes that were on clearance at its respective store a few month earlier at cheaper prices), or "KOHLS STORES OPEN AT 4 AM ACROSS AMERICA FOR THE PRESIDENTS DAY SALE!!!! COME EARLY AND $AVE" (this is just trailer trash...no further commentary), or a bunch of other random crap that wants you to look posh for cheap!

Dear readers, if you want to look posh for cheap just walk into any designer store during January and July! Walk into Barneys and you WILL find John Varvatos shoes marked down 70% that end up costing way less than those cheapo looking H&M Choo's. Do you really think I could afford half of my closet otherwise?! (although I technically can't afford half of my closet this way either...but that's a whole other issue)

Ok now I totally forgot what else I wanted to write about because I didn't expect to talk about stupid H&M this much. And no, I am not that eurotrash to be a label whore...I am just giving insightful tips on the topic as everyone knows this is one of my bad habits (remember the first blog? well here is your answer) and I don't recommend to anyone to go down my path. Because designer or not, it's really what makes YOU happy. My favorite shirt was actually found at dirt bottom of a sales rack in the back of GAP for $4...so judge me now bitches!

Anyway since its getting to be almost 2AM and times that clubs and bars close (hence my time to go to bed on this fake...just like those shoes will be..."Friday night") I will end the blog with a bit of preaching.

As you can tell, our lives are full of both idiotic and idolic things, from Jimmy Choo FOR Cheap Poor Quality Swedish Clothing Chain vs. quality yet inexpensive clothes on GAP sales racks, to Christian Audigier vs. Christian Dior, to Madonna 2008 vs. Madonna 1998, to Melrose Place (original) to Melrose Place (remake), and to millions of other examples. The real issue is, can you tell the difference between what is idiotic and what is idolic (maybe the better word is ideal-ic)? Because in today's world, these two concepts often camouflage (mostly through media) to represent the other that in the end you figure out that you were wrong about something all from the beginning. Just as tons of those people waiting in line on the last floor of the Beverly Center will after they realize they spent $300 on something that is not real. So you must always ask yourself the question of WHAT IS REAL, from what you put on yourself to who you put yourself on. Society has misconception on many things; it is your job to figure out the truth. ***Bjork's music may be weird, but she has one of the broadest soprano vocal ranges among artists. M.I.A. may be one of the top selling artist of this year, but her vocal range makes nails on blackboard sound like harmony. ***

because she will say "honey you know these are louboutins!"...

...if you decide to take her to a cold sandy beach on a "romantic" picnic date where you will serenade her from the bottom of your emotionally filled heart your favorite song from some indie band whose CD you bought at a thrift store. Wow that was the longest sentence ever...but you get my drift. Now, this sort of PG13ness may work for some dumb high school chick on jenny craig because she knows better than to show up at the door steps of Hyde Lounge in 2 inch heels (stilts for her cankles)...but if you on the other hand wish to drive some fierce bitch like Amber Rose (at least Kanye did something right) around the posts of your bed, then follow the next few tips...

NOTE: these are only if you are going out with a pretentious Hollywood-ite that you most likely won't share your life experiences with, other than telling him/her that when you were a child you were an olympic gymnast that gave you an amazing ability to bend your body in any way you like.

So if you are a naturally shy person (such as myself...I know...its CRAZY) your main goal is to intimidate the other person into a submissive little monkey (ok that sounded a bit sexual...but again, you get my drift). How does a master get the chihuahua to obey? He or she shows the little bitch who the boss is obviously. Kelis had it right and so will you! Because if you don't look like a hot diva (or divo...gender neutral remember?), Ms. Amber Rose will not be interested and will end up fake-texting her BFF all throughout your "date" and you will wonder and ask yourself "did I just spend $28 on two drinks for this lil' bitch and another $20 cover to get into this "it" lounge?!" We don't want that...do we now? So an easiest way to intimidate people is with your outfit obviously. So, for the love of God use that Chase platinum rewards card and buy yourself a decent outfit because that is the reason credit cards were invented! Yes, it mayyyy get you into a debt (but lets face it...70% of LA is in debt) but at least it will save you money on a therapist who will charge you $150 an hour listening to you complain how "you're ugly and fat and no one likes you!" Attire does amazing things to your self image (as long as you don't mix black with navy, wear a dark suit with beige shoes, toms, vans, flip flops, or any "comfortable" clothes). Next tip is do not order shooters or any sort of cocktail that is drinkable in a gulp because that will cost you $120 to get the same effect as two $14 Mojitos will...and no one wants to think you're a wino! In regards to drinking, get that liver working ASAP so your brain won't have to, because once you get vodka flowing through your veins you pretty much don't have to think or process anything that your date has to say (because who wants to hear about his or her plan to be a guest star on the hills?! we all know you work for Larry Flynt to pay the rent for that LA apartment) and your night will truly be on cloud 9 drifting in the SKYY.

*these tips do not guarantee you will get laid, because if they did I would have genital herpes by now

**you should not attempt to be this superficial with anyone you would like to have something serious with

***remember to visit your local CVS the morning after

OC vs. LA --PICTURE EDITION--Part 1

Orange County example followed by its LA counterpart.

* certain images may be exaggerations.

The Most Pretentious Place on Campus

There is always a certain location on any college campus where a bunch of posers gather and sit for hours pretending to "study," while in reality all they are waiting for is someone to pick them up. At UCI, my dear readers, this place is STARBUCKS (or star-fucks if you will). As an almost daily visitor to this cruising haven (however, I on the other hand come here to actually DO work...mostly), I have had the opportunity to analyze the actions of all of the regulars that make this place their second home. This is how it goes: you come to this place usually in the noon when the concentration on campus is at its greatest, wait what seems to be an hour in line to get a drink that you really don't care too much to drink (it basically serves as your admissions ticket and excuse), and with recession many have started serving themselves with the free water on the side that also seems to give them a legitimate excuse to hang around this place. Then, you drift around the premises hoping to get a table. This always seems to be bring a nervous expression on many people's faces as this live form of musical chairs is their first trial in the game of hook up. If you manage to get a table next to a hot guy/girl with a computer plug as well...JACKPOT. If not, then you get whatever is available and wait for an upgrade. If you fail at getting any kind of seat, then you are regretfully forced to relocate to the student center study lounge next door. Now the irony of this, as well as the proof of true purpose of Starbucks, is that people would rather sit in an extremely cramped and loud environment attempting to "study", rather than comfortable, quiet, well lit and ventilated, yet totally "not-happening" environment. After all, with 2 multistory libraries, and a dozen computer labs and study centers, what makes this place so special? The answer is all of the pseudo-intellectuals. People that go to actually study do not wear designer shirts buttoned down to their chests, overaccessorized wrists and necks, Friday night hair, AND carry parchments of paper to scribble notes that are then tossed into the garbage for hours! People that study buy a nasty can of monster, wear tattered loose and mismatched clothes, a bandana/hat or anything to cover that mess on their heads, and about the only form of make up they have is a chapstick due to the effects that fatigue has on their lips. Furthermore, why does it happen that during finals, this place becomes ghost town while the libraries are swarmed with students cramming for that 8AM test? I mean, I thought people here study?

Remission of Perfection

No, you are not perfect. I could probably find at least 5 flaws of your physicality within a glance. Yet, your own blindness to these flaws may be your own strength. This is something that I have struggled to acquire for a very long time, yet the lack of this attribute has shaped me into the person I am today. It has always been the drive behind my desire to become a cosmetic surgeon, regardless of many other false speculations, most commonly relating to monetary reasons, made by my family and friends. The complex of my own imperfections has inevitably propagated into a reprehensible ability to see imperfections in others...

***

Now the real question is, what is considered perfection? I have been with physically perfect, intellectually perfect, humorously perfect, emotionally perfect. Yet, it seems encoded in our nature that we may never have all of these perfections combined. Hence, it is the reason why some of us are still perfectly alone. You know how when you see a couple consisted of an ugly (by modern societal standards) partner and a beautiful one (by same standards), you just can't help but think, "are you kidding me?!", yet behind this mockery lies envy of the ugly person. Well, it only distorts the definition of perfection even further, as this evidently "imperfect" person is doing someone who is "perfect." Yet, this explains an important concept...

***

Perfection of several traits (as listed above) may not all be accumulated in a single person, yet in a relationship of two people it can, because what one person lacks the other possesses, and vice versa. It can also be as a method of feeding our own self image and insecurities. So, maybe the hot girl or guy is only using his or her ugly boy/girlfriend as a form of self consolidation, because getting involved with a person of same physicality would only drive their complex of imperfection further.

***

Anyway, I promise to keep it more simple from now on as I'm afraid that all of this philosophical preaching will give the readers migraines. But, I hope you think about these concepts, and if there is anything you would like me to elaborate on or if you are confused about any particular sentence, please write so in the comment box :)

will vanity save your sanity?

I currently have million different concepts on this subject, ranging from building a fortress around your heart to protect it from those who wish to break it, to getting promoted in life, all through utilization of one's own vanity. Yet, vanity is considered as a Cardinal Sin by Christianity. Thus, when deciding to play with this form Devil's advocate, it is important to retain a part of your inner-self in this game. Because even though on the outside it may look vital, an eggshell with a hollow core will eventually collapse on itself due to the emptiness it faces from the inside. It is all a gamble, in which you could win or lose. Anyway, sorry to babble in the form of weird analogies, but this blog is somewhat of a development and introduction to a range of centralized ideas that will be unveiled in future posts.

***

Also, I hope that some of you realized by now that this blog is not as literal as it's name implies. Yes, I will talk about fads, what's in, what's out, where to hang out...etc. all to satisfy and nurture your inner diva/o, yet the "hidden" messages behind some of my blogs is something you may or may not discover yourself, based on how truly vain you are.

Can I please have my coffee and cigarette first...

...before this day gets any worse?! Seriously, I think the Gods and their secretary Karma are mad at me for creating this superficial blog because this day is a mess. So, I force myself out of bed this morning on a foggy morning and a freezing room (as I like to sleep with a window open) only to get stuck in traffic on the 405 and late for my physiology lab that starts at 9. Of course, the Australian hag decides to criticize me for just about the same duration as my lateness. So I stand there attempting to actually care, but with little success, about what her Melbourne accent has to say, and just as your well trained canary would, I repeat the same apologetic sentence in a manner that would actually make it sound legitimate. After the long 2 hours of conducting experiments, which are hardly worth my $3k quarterly tuition, I get that midterm back that I have been trying to erase from my head for the past 7 days. Needless to say, the stapled inked up packet is currently residing in my Y-3 bag where it will stayed quarantined until I get my hands on Neuro "Bliss" again (read previous post). An hour later, I decide to make my great comeback to German class, whose previous 2 sessions I have missed because I believe that 2 hours of DAT studying will do much better for my career than drawing pictures of German fairy tales that serve no purpose in my world. Of course, I completely missed the whole non-existent speech from the TA that our poster presentation was supposed to be SIMPLE, rather than analogous to German Wikipedia, so I ditched the class early in order to save myself unnecessary questions as to what half of my sentences mean, which I myself do not know. So, to make a long story short, I have finally had my two items of serenity, and my mood is escalating up just like the stock market. Also on the bright side, I got an A on AIDS fundamentals midterm, so I guess I am an STD whiz (and no, I do not have any in case you're wondering). So my dear readers, don't let things get you down and just repeat to yourself, "who does that bitch think she is?!"

New Wave of Generation

This one really deviates from any particular topic but rather I was inspired to write about the times we lived in from the late '90s to '10s and how things have changed yet somehow remained the same all throughout. So this will probably be as deep as I will get this week unless requested by my small number of followers. So what caused me to write about this yet undefined topic? As I lack from inability to fall asleep without music I downloaded this nifty little application called iheartradio for my right hand mobile device and I heard this song play called "shiny disco balls." So I laid there in my bed thinking long and hard where I knew that song from...and then almost by the time the song ended it hit me that it was a really big hit in the late 90s that played on MTV! So I woke up thinking how those times are long past as MTV has long lost its good quality for playing music video but instead has revolved to broadcasting trash such as Paris Hilton's BFF. And basically throughout the entire day I was thinking back to those good (which is a relative term) old times and how my appreciation for materialistic things has plummeted through the years. For example, my first mobile was a Nokia 8210 (yes, the one seen in the Charlie's Angels movie...I know...I was kick ass) and despite the fact that in today's world that piece of crap would probably burst into flames if placed next to my iPhone, I can't forget those 5 minutes back in the 1999, or whenever it was that I was introduced into the world of wireless communication, of how I just STARED in AWE at my new gadget followed by flashing it around the block as if I was holding the Hope diamond in my hands. In contrast, when I purchased the iPhone 3G last year, I took it out of the box, called my friend, put it away in my bag with a bunch of keys, and tattooed it with a scratch all within the same 5 minute period. Yet, I somehow failed to care. So would this be a good thing or bad? Does it make me materialistic or not, as I did not care to take care of my phone, yet did not care that it be in perfect shiny condition? This paradox is just one of many that has completely molded today and ten years ago into two different wave periods. I really could list hundreds of other examples aside from my phone and MTV, such as FRIENDS vs. Hills and reality TV, definition of fame (Julia Roberts vs. Octomom), and even this blog. A few years ago, I did not even know the definition of the word "blog," yet today it's part of my daily lexicon. Therefore, I leave you to ponder on this topic, and think that despite of all these changing trends and waves which certainly has contributed to our superficiality, certain things never change. Can you think of any? Hint: it rhymes with dove.

Superficial Drink of the Month

Just a little side note...toss the monster can in the garbage and drink NEURO! It's the new celebrity drink and they have a bunch of different kinds ranging from Neuro "Gasm" that improves your sex performance (any volunteers for judging my before and after?) to Neuro "Bliss" that improves your mood (this one is debatable as I am still pissed about that accident from last week and my heart aches every time I see the rear end of my car) to Neuro "Sonic," which helps you focus (almost better than Ritalin). Now who would believe that grenade shaped carbonated soda filled bottles would be able to do all of these things?!? Well, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Posh and Becks, Bradgelina, and of course me would believe so! So after finding these elixirs of life at some ghetto

grocery store in Huntington Beach I bought every kind they had (they had some special discount) and had to listen to my mother preach about how big of an idiot I am for buying sugared water. However, once all of my fat gets turned into metabolic energy as promised by Neuro "Trim" that woman along with half of America will be chasing me to get them some!

Demographics

So the most primary thing to living any particular kind of lifestyle is finding your niche. In other words, LOCATION! Therefore, if you are going to be fresh out of college soon (as the case with me) with millions of different options as to where you could work, live, and play, then you really need to know the demographics of the location of interest. And by demographics I am not referring to your typical wikipedia definition, but Mr. Superficiality one.

Therefore, with no further ado these are places that will make you feel right at home if you are...

1. a tweaker and/or someone wishing to live in West LA but can't afford the rent ~ VENICE

2. looking for the beach, city, someone to impregnate you so that you could roll your Orbit stroller down a row of designer but relatively main stream stores ~ SANTA MONICA

3. rich, middle aged, just want the zip ~ BEVERLY HILLS

4. wealthy, old-er, don't want to be near the hot hollywood mess ~ BEL AIR / MALIBU

5. mix between 3 and 4 ~ PACIFIC PALISADES

6. gay, your best friend is your mirror, crunch gym, every scandalous celebrity, overly priced lounges and stores on Robertson Blvd where you will be greeted by pararazzi ~ WEST HOLLYWOOD

7. aspiring actor, model, writer, but would not mind waiting tables to pay rent ~ HOLLYWOOD

8. hipster, most likely bisexual, organic foods, incense, not fooling anyone with your $700 diesel outfit posing as if you got it at a thrift store ~ SILVERLAKE

9. actually DID get it at a thrift store and visit whole foods only periodically ~ LOS FELIZ

I don't really have the accurate demographics yet for downtown LA, but basically it's an up and coming area to live (but only near LA Live, i.e. South Park) although there is not much going on there other than construction and homeless emigration...so if you are a real estate investor, this area is your new home sweet home!

Ok I kind of got tired...LA is a big city and I still have OC to cover, so this will be a multiparter. Stay tuned!

rise to stardom

Zoran decided to start blogging?! Say whaaa?! Well I guess this is yet another one of my attempts to become famous since Twitter did not do the job and I failed to get noticed by TMZ. So what will I write about? The fuck if I know! I guess it will probably consist of my daily random spouts of superficial things...however, before you start to judge me on how not everything is skin-deep, sit down and think about it. We live in LA (well I do in my head at least...until I actually find a job, quit the habits which you will get to know in time, and scrap up enough $$$ to rent a nice little place a stone throws away from Lindsay Lohan), so I will practically be your survival guide to this plastic city. From how to behave to where to hang out, I might actually help you become more famous than Jon Gosselin, because let's face it...who the hell wears Ed Hardy anymore?