I'm kinda psychic

and no I don't have ESPN (for those who don't get it too bad). But I had this dream a few nights ago about how I was in court and I had this tough killer attitude that made the witness I was interrogating cry and the judge to gasp in awe of my skills that I woke up thinking I should totally become a lawyer...but then I remembered I was running late for class and that idea quickly passed. Anyway, to make a long story short I get pulled over by a cop last night in a middle of a desolate residential street saying how I did not signal when turning right, did not come to a full stop, was speeding (wait didn't I stop?...at least not "fully") among other things. Now the irony is that I always thought I would start hyperventilating and hysterically crying the day I get my first ticket like my sister did, especially with all of the holidays coming up when my cash flow is only directed at cash registers of south coast NOT the police department. However, I did not cry or hyperventilate (maybe it was that mind controlling hot yoga I previously went to taking effect) but was PISSED instead! I swear to you people, I was getting quite close to blogging from a jail cell because I felt like jumping for that cop's neck for being cited for bullshit. So in his excellent customer service skills he only cited me for the turn and "forgave" me for the "speeding" and told me that I can appear in court in February if I wish to contest the ticket. And I said "THE HELL I WILL...GOOD NIGHT!" So just like I stated in my FB status, I will go and eat up both that cop (even if he shows up) and his citation with an attitude just like the one from my dream.

By Popular Request

Sorry my posts have been in slow mode, and I know this blog is like methamphetamines for some of you, but Mr. Superficiality is unfortunately living a Hannah Montana lifestyle where he is a hip-city-know-whats-hot-blogger by night and a boring bio student at UCI trying to get his ass into dental school by day. And for some strange reason my day life is taking over even though this quarter was not supposed to be daylight savings. Anyway, I haven't really planned any special topics for tonight, and I wasn't even going to write anything because I technically should be "studying." However, because my newly discovered Central Perk had to have a bunch of hipsters trying to shed some of their musical "talent" on all of us attempting to do "work" on a Friday night I decided I might as well update this.

***

So I had some requests about what to talk about. One being celebrities such as Perez Hilton and another being New Moon movie. First of all, I am not a celebrity blogger and Perez Hilton is not a celebrity anyway. He is more of a celebrity leech, parasite, freeloader, bottom feeder...or any synonymous word you would like to use. He calls his site "Most Hated Site in Hollywood." Newsflash, most hated site is TMZ because that one actually destroyed careers and had Britney's commando shot about 12 hours before Perez did....maybe the time it took him to decide which color of the rainbow to dye his hair next? No, I don't hate this guy, I just don't really find him too relevant and if there is anything that annoys me more is people who think they are something more than they actually are.

Next, New Moon. I'm not going to deny and say that I am not a Twi-fan because I read half the series during finals week a year ago. So I decided to go with a few people to the premiere because I find amusement in seeing a bunch of obsessed prepubescent girls and their mothers shriek and scream as if they are at a Michael Jackson concert (RIP). However, what I found to be too much (yet somehow unsurprising) was a woman reaching climax in her theater seat from seeing the actors shirtless on screen. Unless pushing yourself up against the seat screaming "OH MAH LORDD-AH OOH OOH OOO" means something else I advise no one to sit on the second seat to the right in third row of theater 9 at AMC at the District in Irvine, unless you want a case of herpes. Other than that, the movie is pretty good, but again, I am not a movie critic/blogger either so you won't find any further reviews here.

Ok, the emos have stopped their music so I can now get back to actual work. Until next time!

How to look like a supermodel in 3 easy steps...

1. Deprive yourself of sleep

2. Replace water with caffeine

3. Replace food with cigarettes

Now I know this may seem like asking for too much, but you can't have something for nothing. However, this diet is a foolproof way to make you look like an anorexic 5'10" teenager that makes 7 figures annually from magazine and billboard advertisement. And as a biology student I can tell you that it's also scientifically proven, so this is totally legit :)

Now the best part is that it only takes a weekend to complete the diet if you done properly, because on Monday morning you will find yourself dragging your body across the pavement with a stoned and worn-out facial expression just like that of Karlie Kloss. Then you just might get discovered by an agent (perhaps myself) working for a renowned agency, get photographed to death, and live happily ever after. So there is an inspiration for you...

p.s. for all of you who are worried about your health and who are ready to criticize this novel diet, know that the scientific purpose of sleep has still not be determined, caffeine will lower your risk of developing Parkinson's and diabetes, and cigarettes are your only method to prevent eating that McHeartAttack. After all, no one wants to do an old person, so make it your priority to look good when young.

* the following diet may carry negative effects on your sanity from lack of sleep, self-esteem once you are introduced to the modeling world, and social relations with friends due to jealousy inspired by your newfound hotness.

* Mr. Superficiality, superficialdivo.blogspot.com, or anything related to this trademark is not sponsored by Starbucks, tobacco industry, or any modeling agency.

Realism = Failure

Am I aware that my GPA is not too competitive for dental school? Yes.

Am I aware that I currently owe over 10k in loans and credit card bills? Yes.

Does this mean I failed in life? Never

***

We all have certain experiences that do not seem too appealing. Even more, many of us have ideas that do not sound too realistic. The reason they don't is because others make you think that way. They will laugh at you and say such things as "you dream too much" or "you need to be realistic." However, just know that there is no such thing as realism. Reality is the way YOU make it! I doubted myself on many many occasions because others made me, yet because of the belief I had buried deep within myself, I succeeded. Talk about higher power! So dream big, defy gravity, and say to all those that doubt you and discourage you from following your dreams, ideas, and beliefs -> FUCK YOU! Because you control your own life, not your family, friends, or authoritative figures. People that want you to be realistic are not "helping you" as they try to make you believe, instead they are holding you down at their level as they are afraid to live lives to full potential. Positive energy will always bring positive results! Everyone has something in their lives that scars them by societal standards, whether it be financial debt, emotional distraught, or intellectual inadequacy. However, every person has a potential to be great at something, and sometimes you just have to go against society in order to determine what that is, forget the scars you carry, and look forward to the future.

be inspired...

Superficial vs. Not - Picture Edition

same maneuver, different result.

*I do not condone of any actions depicted in this this picture blog, so any lawsuits carried out against Mr. Superficiality or superficialdivo.blogspot.com for causing fat girls to become coke/cigarette/bulimia addicts will not cause those pounds to evaporate, so save your legal fee $ and buy a gym membership.

Much love,

Mr. Superficiality ;)

in the spotlight

What is the 2009 definition of fame? Fame is such a distorted noun that there is not one single definition of it. You could have your 15 minutes such as Octomom, Jon and Kate Gosselin, Heidi Montag, and many individuals that have come to be associated with the term fame through the means of reality TV, tabloid papers, medical mistakes, or anything that causes your personal value to be worth as much as your duration in the media spotlight. Fame is like a shooting star; you are able to hold onto it for a little while, and then it disappears across the horizon leaving you where you originally stood. Yet many of the individuals (including those listed above) try to hold onto this shooting star hoping that it will lead them to a position of becoming a permanent star (coincidental word choice btw). I don't need to list any individuals, because all you need to do is open US Weekly and their daily attempts to accomplish this impossible task through "shocking" manners will make it all clear to you. Some have actually succeeded in doing so, yet their only reason for success is due to the previous status of respectability they had, but because of ever-changing interest of fans, their status has slowly begun to diminish into the shadows of forgotten celebrities. And as always, no one likes demotions, so you attempt to stay up there even if it means shaving your head, changing your sexual orientation, releasing "personal videos", or creating television shows in which you search for a best friend that will worship you because everyone else has long stopped at doing so.

***

I will never have much respect for these individuals. The people I do have respect for are those that do not use their fame to gain it. These individuals are not concerned with what others think, or with how many google hits they had that day, or if they were on the TMZ homepage. They are concerned with their own personal fulfillment that is usually gained through their careers or interests. Fame is only a byproduct; appreciated and not desperately sought.

***

Take Grace Jones for example. 61 years old, has been out of the spotlight for almost the entire duration of my life (as her last album was about 20 years ago), and when I rediscovered her music I gained such incredible respect for this woman (that many have not heard of) because her vocal talent puts many new age artist to level of musical incompetence. Now, I know this blog has been pointing towards the direction of media fame, but since it is common grounds for both my readers and myself, it is the only reason I decided to use such examples. However, we all have our own definitions of respectable fame. If you aspire to become a photographer, your definition of fame might be attached to Steven Klein. If you are aspire to be a lawyer, it might be Johnnie Cochran. If you aspire to be a doctor it might be Christiaan Barnard. Whoever the celebrity of your aspiration is, his or her fame is the one you should want because they are the ones that usually succeed at gaining a permanent star position. Not those whose picture is starting at you while you wait in a grocery store line.

Art of Being a Ruthless Bitch

Myself: "I need an extension for my online prep program, because it expires today."

Kaplan Lady (annoyed): "Hmmmm...welll...hold on...I need to see if that is possible."

Myself: "Please do and if you could update my attendances while at it would be great because my classes I took at Orange County did not transfer to Westwood."

Kaplan Lady (raises eyebrow): "You transferred?"

Myself: "Yes"

Kaplan Lady (bemused sarcasm): "Why is that?"

Myself: "Because I was not satisfied with the tutor."

Kaplan Lady (determined to prove me wrong): "We are only as good as you make us!"

Myself: "My test score is only as good as your effort."

Kaplan Lady (really annoyed): "Well updating these attendances is quite difficult when you transfer...hold on (5 minute interval while she attempts at an "impossible" task). You know...next time you should not transfer"

Myself: "Next time you should hire more competent tutors"

***

I deal with bitches like these almost daily, and most of the times (not always, as authority is often an impeding factor) I beat them at their own game. So after being asked by a close friend how to be a "bitch" in order to get some annoying guy off her ass I decided to dedicate this blog to her and to all that are lacking in this department. I have been told by many people, both friends, family, and strangers, that I have an attitude problem yet I partly disagree. My attitude has to a great extent been self-taught with the purpose of surviving in this fast-paced world. If it wasn't for my periodic ruthless behavior, I would not have gotten my Kaplan online program extended, had a people's hospital bills discharged and wait-list positions advanced, gotten into half of my upper division classes, or done countless other things that required me to express myself with a manner many people do not find pleasant (and no, I do not curse in arguments and neither should you...ever). So obviously, this image which I have created for the sole purpose of succeeding in my professional endeavors can sometimes interfere with my personal relations and raise suspicions in people to think that I am a stuck up asshole...while in reality I am a softie (I know...I am laughing at the idea as well)

***

For every action in life there is a reaction, including your personality. So I characterize a person as either a power-trip magnum with no emotions, emotionally available but as a result often vulnerable, or if you have done it the right way, in between. Being in between is something that you should strive for, because being on the higher end of the ladder will only cause you to trip and fall down from that height so hard with a divorce and a lawsuit, and no friends to catch you. Being at the bottom of the ladder will only make you to stay there until you realize that everyone else has moved on up and left you behind. Middle ground always saves your sanity.

***

In terms of how to be ruthless...it can't be taught. You have to figure it out for yourself. Most of the time the image you should have in your head is that of what you desire. So whether it be a career, a guy, a girl, or whatever your desire, you will find it that you will go through great lengths, countless fights, and many personal changes in order to obtain it. Once you do, you will realize whether it was worth the effort and whether the trail behind you still has crumbs left on the ground to allow you to return to what you once were. Often you will realize that the birds ate them away.